Michael Scott, Venture Capitalist?

Let’s take a minute to imagine the founder journey—but not through Elon, or Zuck, or some sleepless YC grad. Nope. We're going full Michael Scott, Regional Manager turned startup icon.

So picture this: our guy Michael stumbles into a business that’s actually selling. Paper, of all things. But hey, it’s working. He's got customers, he’s got revenue, and somehow the numbers are going up. Time to raise some cash.

Dilution, Baby

Here’s where the fun begins. Michael starts raising money. First a little, then more, then a full-blown Series C. But what happens every time he takes on that sweet VC funding? New shares get issued. That means Michael’s percentage ownership in Dunder Mifflin gets diluted.

And guess what? That’s okay.

Because while the percentage of the pie he owns shrinks, the pie itself keeps getting supersized. Like, Costco-level supersized. That’s the startup math no one puts on the T-shirts:
Smaller slice × Bigger pie = More money.

From 90 Cents to $41.75

By the end of the journey, Michael’s holding onto his original million shares. That’s right—he never sold. But thanks to growth, each share now clocks in at $41.75. What used to be worth lunch money is now worth a beach house and a boat named “That's What She Said.”

Total payout? $41.75 million.

Not bad for a guy who once grilled his foot on a Foreman.

Growth > Ego

Too many founders chase valuations like they’re trophies—big numbers that look good in TechCrunch but fall apart when revenue doesn’t catch up. Michael (accidentally?) did it right: he focused on selling. He grew revenue. He made that pie bigger with every round.

And when it came time to exit? He didn’t just cash out. He feasted. 🍕

So what’s the moral of the story?

Forget owning 100% of a sad little microwave pizza. You want a mega slice of a New York-style, 5-topping VC-funded pie (just not Sbarro’s). You want growth, and you want the kind of scale that turns early sweat equity into late-stage champagne problems.

Growth is money. Growth is power. Growth is how Michael Scott went from selling paper to pocketing $41.75 million.

Be like Michael. But maybe… don’t open a café disco.